Elephant Jokes Hobby Index
Grand-Daughter wants a new elephant joke every time I see her...
I guess I have a new hobby

1.  What is big, gray, and has horns?
An elephant marching band

2.  What is beautiful, gray, and wears glass slippers?

3.  How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch?
paint its toenails red

4.  How do you get out of an elephant's stomach?
Run around until you get pooped out

5.  How do you make an elephant float?
You take one elephant, 5 tons of vanilla ice-cream, 2 tons of bananas,...

6.  What has big ears and shouts "HUT! HUT! HUT!"?
An elephant quarterback

7.  What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

8.  What is black and squishy between an elephants toes?
A slow native

9.  What's the difference between your mom and an elephant?
About ten pounds

10.  What do you send a sick elephant?
A get Wellephant card

11.  Why do elephants drink so much?
To try to forget

12.  What do elephants have that no other animals have?
Baby elephants

13.  What’s convenient and weighs 10 tons?
An elephant six-pack.

14.  What goes, “Clomp, clomp, clomp, squish, clomp, clomp, clomp, squish?”
An elephant with one wet sneaker

15.  Why did the elephant cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

16.  What's red & white on the outside, and grey on the inside?
Cream of Elephant Soup.

17.  What’s big, grey and flies straight up ?
An elecopter

18.  What do you call an elephant that can’t do sums ?

19.  What do you call an elephant that flies?
Dumbo Jet

20.  If an elephant crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back again, what is it?
a dirty double crosser


The elephant goes like this and that,
He's terribly big and terribly fat.

He has no fingers, he has no toes,
But goodness gracious, what a nose!


I saw a peanut stand, heard a rubber band,
I saw a needle that winked its eye.
But I think I will have seen everything
When I see an elephant fly.

I saw a front porch swing, heard a diamond ring,
I saw a polka-dot railroad tie.
But I think I will have seen everything
when I see an elephant fly.

I seen a clothes horse, he r'ar up and buck
And they tell me that a man made a vegetable truck
I didn't see that, I only heard
But just to be sociable I'll take your word

I heard a fireside chat, I saw a baseball bat
And I just laughed till I thought I'd die
But I'd be done see'n about everything
when I see an elephant fly.

I asked my mother for fifty cents
To see the elephant jump the fence.
He jumped so high he reached the sky,
And didn’t get back till the Fourth of July.


The elephant has passed by but its tail remains  -- Hindu saying


"Elephant McDuff"

with great big feet
and mighty ears,
elephant McDuff I wish you to meet 

he has no home
but he has no need
for he is my friend, so we let him be 

he dances by day
and sleeps at night
for me he is quite alright

so please take care of him
when I'm not around
my dear dear friend elephant McDuff

-- Clif